


In which Piper's matchmaking skills are actually quite efficient.

by sprinklyzucchini



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Matchmaker Piper, Pipalypso - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, all the characters - Freeform, and everyone's supportive (really very supportive), leo's confused and adorkable over his feelings, nico's a bit irritated with leo and mostly with the fact that he likes him so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2622413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklyzucchini/pseuds/sprinklyzucchini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Copy-pasting the prompt - " I really want Nico and Leo secretly be really boss singers, and Piper finds out and gets them cursed by the Hecate cabin to sing love duets all the time. (Love is an open door, etc.)"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trips to BroodyLand, and Matchmaking Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first attempt at Valdangelo, and there's a _tiny, tiny_ modification to the prompt (not just love duets, just love songs.. in general? Embarrassing ones. Told you it was a tiny detail.)
> 
> Usual disclaimer for sucking at titles - I suck at titles.
> 
> And... yeah, I ended up writing up backstories and whatnot (it's unbetaed and probably shit *sighs*), so it's longer and chaptered, and I'm not sure when it'll be updated, but hopefully soon!
> 
> .... Writing Valdangelo is hard, shit. I have new respect for the writers who've managed to make me fall in love with this pairing via their fiction.

Unexpected as his first kisses mostly were (There were only ever _two_.), Leo still wouldn’t have seen this one coming.

He remembered everything went to Hades (agaaain.) around the time he started hanging around with Nico. Ghost Boy was distinctly less grumptastic after the war, and stayed at Camp Half-Blood more frequently.  
Leo hadn’t known much about the boy, had been a little uncomfortable around him to be honest. He just knew that Nico had a past in the 40s– tragic demigod family-related luck, had gone through infinitely more trouble than a guy his age should have to go through (and _alone_ ), and only let his softie side show around certain people, like Hazel.

Holy Hephaestus, did he have like, a thing for kids from different eras or what.

Oh..kay. On second thought, scratch that thought. Ew. _EWW. NA-UH.  Shift+Delete, man._

The siblings were the reason this even started, actually. After a series of events which led everyone to remember that the half-siblings were horrifyingly undereducated in matters of Disney, or other assorted franchises – because really, who had the time for all these when preventing the goddamned apocalypse – Leo (and occasionally the Stoll brothers) took it upon himself to brush them up.

It was a pleasant distraction, he told himself, as he’d watched Hazel’s face light up at Tiana singing about opening her famous restaurant in New Orleans.  Not to mention hilarious, as he’d laughed at Nico spluttering and laugh-sobbing his way through Hercules (it was closely followed by Jason’s indignant scowling, and Annabeth and Callie’s matching expressions of bewilderment. Seriously, _Jerkules-to-HUNKules?! What a load of Junkules._ )

It _was supposed to be_ a distraction. Callie helped him with fine-tuning his machines and taught him how to crochet (once. It didn’t work out.), she spent all her time with Pipes, anyway. He was supposed to be not-grieving-and-sulking over whatever happened with Jay.

A distraction.

Fortunately, it worked. Unfortunately, it worked too well.  

Because he’d diligently ignored the fact that his first thoughts on seeing such a spectrum of expression on the Italian’s pale, screen-lit face were about how adorable he looked.

Wow, really? Scrawny, pale and messy-haired with the kind of intense eyes that made shiv– OKAY _getting off track there._

Ignoring it hadn’t worked out after all. Here he was, nearly four months later, tampering down a crush the size of Zeus’ ego on _Nico di Angelo, Sassy Necromancer Extraordinaire, of all people_.

‘Don’t call me that.’ Leo jumped, back from BroodyLand, terrified that Nico could somehow read the back of his mind, and then realized he was talking to Will Solace. The son of Hades was currently glowering half-heartedly at something Solace had said – presumably he’d been dubbed “Death Boy” for the millionth time.  
Solace just grinned and apologized quickly before proceeding to talk Nico up, and Leo was extremely irritated at himself for suddenly feeling like something in his belly and flickered and gone out.

Shit. Like anything was gonna happen anyway.

He didn’t expect it to ever work out. Even if they hung out a lot more, they drove each other up the wall with the constant smartass bickering. He’d been pleasantly surprised to see Nico’s snarky and dry humour in all its glory, and less pleasantly surprised to discover he was also, apparently, good at completely annihilating Leo in his best video games.

And how was he even his type? He was quieter, more snarky than laugh-out-loud funny (yes, that’s Leo and his jokes are not _tasteless_ , thank you very much.) and definitely more grouchy.

Lean. Small (like he, the Latino Imp, could talk.) Pale. Needed to eat (psh, again, not his place to talk.)

Looked like an octopus had farted on him.

...Looked effing gorgeous.

_Wai- WOAH._

Yeah, Leo was glad Ghost Boy couldn’t read the back of his treacherous mind.

Solace had to leave soon after to announce the camp’s bonfire sing-along, and he left behind a exasperatedly-grinning Nico. Leo sidled up to him, smirk in place, and deliberately whispered in his ear, ‘So when do you think Solace’s finally gonna give you a physical under the pretext of “Doctor’s orders?”’

Nico jumped (Leo hoped he wasn’t actually thinking about Solace giving him a physical, because no.) inhaling half his cocoa, face burning either from the beverage in his windpipe, or the whispering, or the whispered words themselves. Leo decided it was all of the three.

‘Shut it, Valdez,’ he hissed, eyebrows furrowed into almost a single line over his eyes. ‘Anyway, I don’t... I don’t uhm, like him. That way, I mean.’ His face continued to turn redder and redder.

Leo barked out a laugh. ‘Well, you’ve got me convinced.’ He tried to focus on the chatter of the campers around, as they debated over which song to start with, instead of the swooping sensation in his chest because Holy Hephaestus, Nico was so cute like that it was _unfair_.

Leo knew that most of his crushes and/or relationships were doomed, but at least they’d made sense. Sort of. It wasn’t even the fact that he was a guy, Leo had figured he was bi-curious when he found himself subconsciously drooling over Jason and Percy sparring. The curiosity had been satisfied when he and Jason had engaged in that drunken make-out session after his break-up with Piper.

Yeah okay, so the regret was mutual, and it stung, for a solid two months, but it was not like he could’ve done anything for Jason’s confliction. Jay was his best friend, and he couldn’t believe he’d been apparently okay enough to be termed as Wonder Boy’s sexuality crisis ( _his_ words, not Leo’s), but oh well. Past was past (a gorgeous, powerful past with wicked lightning powers and eyes that somehow made gloomy weather bearable, but we digress.)

He _wished_ relationships were actually _like_ machines, instead of in the metaphorical sense.

Like Calypso. His first, and only serious relationship. He’d managed to find Ogygia again after the war, but only after a terrifying counsel with the gods (only made more terrifying by Percy smart-mouthing them that once, to make sure they carried out their promise this time) was Calypso finally allowed to leave her millennia-long prison.

For the better part of two months, Calypso and he’d managed to delude themselves that they were right for each other even if they weren’t stuck on a magical island. The mutual break-up, when it came, was completely unsurprising and a little sad considering how tired they’d been to even be heartbroken about it.

They were good friends, and she was Callie now. And she frequently spent her time away from camp, exploring with Beauty Queen and Hazel, and they IM-ed all the time. When she stayed, she was one of the few (that is, three) people, except his siblings of course, who were trusted to help in the bunker.

He was over her – he’d told her to confront her feelings for a certain daughter of Aphrodite, after all – but the skewed view on his relationships remained.

He was still pondering over this when Piper, Jason and Annabeth sat down on either side of him and Nico. Nico smiled shyly at Pipes and Annabeth, and then reached around them to ram Jason’s glasses up the bridge of his nose. Routine.  

They were still singing to the lyrics of Fall Out Boy – three steps down, Percy sat with Hazel, Callie and Frank (they were visiting) and “sang” like a goat on steroids – when it happened.

He heard a voice tentatively sing out the lyrics, so softly he almost missed it under Percy’s clamouring. With a shock, he realized it was coming from the Italian sitting beside him. Well, his lyrics had a slight, but distinguishable Italian lilt to them, anyway. He turned around to find Nico, firelight accentuating his features, lips barely moving as a slight smile curved them.

He didn’t want to look away.

And holy shit, could Ghost Boy sing. Leo knew now why he’d chosen to sing when Percy was at his loudest, and it was obvious he liked the song, but you could only hear it if you were concentrating hard enough. And yeah, Leo wasn’t the poster boy for concentration, but Nico di Angelo _singing_ was an exception. Okay, so the skills didn’t exactly match the likes of Calypso (please, almost no one could, that was an unrealistic expectation.) but the way it made his head whir and his skin resemble a furnace – the feeling was intense. Even Annabeth shifted away a bit from him in discomfort. He tried to tamp it down.

He faced forward again, looking at the soaring flames, and tried not to glance sideways at Nico too often. He tried to bleat out some parts of the song.

He didn’t notice Piper’s scrutiny, and he certainly did not notice the sly smirk that crept across her face when she recognized that the burning glow on Leo’s face had nothing to do with firelight. Or Nico with a similar condition whenever Leo looked at him, for that matter.

__x__

‘...Shit Pipes, you’re actually crazy.”

‘But! Okay, Jay, look – I get that I don’t usually get into all that matchmaking stuff like my siblings, but even you’ve got to admit – almost four months is a bit much to dance around each other like that. Besides, come on! Have some faith in my plan.’

Jason’s was in the middle of giving her the Well-I-Know-Something-About-Them-Which-YOU-Don’t Look when his jaw slacked and his eyes brightened. ‘Y-yeah. I do. Your plan is great.’

_Sometimes charmspeaking was such a pain in the ass._

Piper gritted her teeth, and snapped her fingers in front of his face. ‘Not like that, Jay.’

Jason shook his head, now back to himself. ‘Do you realize sometimes just how powerful your charmspeak is?’

She rolled her eyes, ‘Believe me, I know exactly how much. It sucks.’ She shifted on her corner of the bed, turning to face him fully. ‘ _Anywaaaay_. Back to the topic, Sparky – now.’

‘You’re just feeling guilty for the whole thing with Calypso, aren’t you.’

Low blow. Piper glared. Her stupid, guilt-inducing ex-boyfriend had the nerve to shrug.

‘Well, I thought _you’d_ feel bad about what happened with Leo.’

Jason’s jaw tightened, and _shit. What was wrong with her today?!_

_Why am I even excited about this thing? Like, Leo and Nico can ignore their feelings for four more months._

_Leo... will just live with this idea in his head that he’s the cause for his failure with Callie and Jason, and Nico... well. He’ll just live and be lonely. As usual. He deserves to be happy with someone. Someone he definitely, 100 (okay 97??) percent seems to like. I wouldn’t even be considering this if he didn’t.[True. True.]_

_It’s not my place [to do something good?!]_

_Maybe Jay’s right [what, I can’t be selfless? Like he’s feeling any better about it.]_

_Nico will probably kill me. [Aw nah, he won- okay yeah he probably will. Unless it works.]_

_Leo won’t do anything, he’s practically my bro-[Okay, slight revenge, maybe. Unless it works.]_

_And it’s going to! [You go, McLean.]_

Piper’s subconscious was very weird. She was almost suspicious sometimes that it was actually her Mom speaking to her (only she’d willingly go along with this plan, and wow wasn’t that real encouraging.)

She was going ahead with the plan.

Except Jason had probably gone from ‘dubious’ to ‘abso-fucking-lutely non-compliant’.

_I shall not charmspeak him. I shall not._

‘I- shit, I’m sorry, Jason.’ She mumbled sadly. ‘That was out of place.’

‘Actually, no- it wasn’t. I-’ He sighed. ‘I deserved that.’ He looked up at her. ‘Well shit, are we going to mull over and angst, or are we going ahead with this?’

She blinked. ‘Huh?’

‘You’re right. They both have that... Argh, I suck at this – they obviously like each other. Plus, Nico – well, he deserves someone to be there for him like that. And so does Leo. So. We’re going ahead with this.’

 ‘Wow. You phrased it even better than me.’ She smirked.

Jason blushed. ‘Yeah well, we should hope it actually works out. You’re sure that Hecate cabin is really that out for revenge?’

Piper grinned. ‘Positive.’

‘And Calypso won’t be there to watch this? She’d be proud of you, you know.’ He stuck his tongue out.

‘She already does. Oh, and so do Annie, Hazel and Frank. I even got Hazel’s hearty approval.’ She smirked, again.

‘... You’ve really thought this out, huh.’

‘I don’t do things half-assed, okay. Now c’mon, time to “play Cupid.”’

‘Urgh, don’t call it _that_.’

‘Sorry...?’


	2. It all started with The Eyebrows (or did it?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico's side of things. Rude hot pyrokinetic people jacking up his life and whatnot. Sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Yeah, I know. But to be fair I never said I wasn't a procrastinator. Also I blame my initiation (mad descent) into the Homestuck fandom. So.
> 
> Shit, I promise, we'll get to the plot soon okay? It even frustrates _me_ to write about these two dumbasses being... well, dumbasses.
> 
> And when plotty stuff happens thanks to our beauty queen, they will be less dumbass-y than before.

Nico might’ve been more at ease after the war, finally comfortable with his place in the camps, even happy with the *small* circle of friends that he let in.

He hadn’t expected a loud-mouthed, pyrokinetic Latino to fuck up his peace of mind.

Ever since that damned Disney Debacle. Leo’s words, not his.

Okay, fine, maybe it had started even before that.

Maybe it had started when he’d been helping Hephaestus’ prodigy in finding a way back to Ogygia, because everyone was worried Leo was skipping meals and he was the only one who could shadow travel into the locked bunker.

They’d gotten over their distaste of each other fairly quick, thanks to Nico being of actual assistance rather than a hindrance (Leo had taken a frightening interest in the logistics of shadow-travelling) and their friendship sparked when Leo accidentally set fire to Nico’s aviator jacket. Yeah, really.

Their faces had fallen, Leo had looked especially traumatised, and after a round of really awkward and sad apologizing and ‘it’s okay’s, they realized that the ensuing silence was sort of peaceful.

Weird insta-friendship was weird.

Successful in his attempts, Leo had disappeared off to the magical island for three weeks, worrying everyone because they knew time passed differently in Ogygia. Nico spent all his time pacifying Hazel and Jason, not revealing that he kind of missed the mechanic’s company too.

He’d been busy at Camp Jupiter helping Jason with his pontifex duties, and one day, he’d returned to find the other camp in mild chaos. Will had directed him to the others standing around Leo (?!??) in the Apollo cabin, and assured him the injuries weren’t serious, and that his “apparent girlfriend” was doing a better job of healing him than most of the Apollo kids.

(He was glad he hadn’t been part of the group that dealt with the gods after hearing how Percy had sassed them.)

He’d taken an instant liking to Calypso. She was... calm, and supportive, not to mention something fierce, and she strangely reminded him of Bianca. His step mom would’ve been impressed with her gardening skills, he’d mused.

But by the way Leo used to go on about her, Nico was a little surprised when none of that emotional intensity was present between them after that.

Nico was shuttling between his (scarce) Underworld duties, his assistance to the praetors as a counsellor of Camp Half-Blood, game nights with Leo and Piper, failing to evade Hazel (and sometimes Reyna and Jason – this collective motherhenning was what he got after getting those two to resolve their issues, tch) trying to “fatten him up.” Being an uncomfortable witness, along with the whole camp, to the tension between Jason and Piper. Being an uncomfortable witness to the dwindling easy-flirting between Will and himself.

 It was like they were leading each other on, and it was tummy-butterfly-inducing, and then somehow it fizzled out. Nico was surprised to discover he didn’t even feel that sad about it.

It was sometime after Leo and Callie and Jason and Piper breaking up (in that order) that Hazel had said something along the lines of Nico and her not being familiar with the 21st century entertainment. Nico could still picture Leo’s reaction, his face comically puffing out in shock, then slowly stretching out into a (terrifying) grin, as he told the both of them – and the whole table, but especially the both of them – “Okay, we’re doing this. This is SO happening. The Great Disney Debacle. The Animation Education. Th-” and was promptly shut up thanks to Percy stuffing a cinnamon roll in his mouth and saying, “Got it, Valdez!”

Nico had found Leo’s enthusiasm in this venture amusing, and to be frank, kind of adorable. Adorable like a firecracker gone loose and out of control (Yeah okay his metaphors sucked, fact accepted.)

He’d wondered why Leo seemed so invested in this in the first place – he was a busy guy, after all – until said busy guy had quietly confessed to him his need for a distraction. Nico had thought that the break up with Piper was the reason Jason was so high-strung those days, and learning about what happened between him and Leo... he hadn’t known what to say.

It had been late into the night, after one of their gaming sessions, and as Leo had curled up to sleep on the couch next to him, Nico had thought about talking to Jason, helping Leo and a million other things when it had finally hit him that Leo had just come out to him.

Well.

Him coming out to Leo was much more light-hearted, and a lot more embarrassing. The conversation had gone something like this –

“So... yeah, I figured, since you kinda did the same _that_ day, I only figured it’d be fair to tell you?”

“Dude. I’m not sure if you want to know this, but I kinda knew anyway?”

“Hu-what.”

“You’ve let down your guard considerably now, Mr di Angelo. You’re a lot more brazen about ogling Doctor Solace’s ass non-stop, after all.” He’d wiggled his eyebrows to emphasize his point, and Nico really wanted to hit him with his half-repaired shield, but for some weird, ridiculous reason, Leo’s eyebrows had caught his attention instead and he’d only grown double-flustered.

Eyebrows. _What in the Hades. Eyebrows?!_

He doubted Leo had noticed, but for all of the following week, he’d covertly stared at Leo more times than he’d dared to count. He _made sure_ to be covert; after all Leo had pointed out to him how obvious he had been about ogl- um, _admiring_ Will’s uh, physique.  
It was a bit surprising how easily he had just... sort of fallen into liking Leo. Comfortable. Yes, that was the word.

Leo was loud to the point of obnoxious, infuriating and effortlessly funny (he’d rather be turned into a corn plant again before admitting that to him) and yet Nico had seen him quiet and sincere and sad, too.

Nico quite liked how affiliated Leo actually was to all aspects of his element. He was also pretty sure if he told Leo something as corny as that, he’d probably make a joke along the lines of “... Like fire? Oh so you think I’m hot, hm?” and waggle his stupid, _stupid_ eyebrows, flashing that awful( ~~ly attractive~~ ) grin. Nico would probably bonk him on the head and try not to show how much he thought about said ‘hotness.’

During the most recent Capture the Flag, which was a week ago, Nico realized _exactly_ how bad he had it for Leo Valdez.

Leo tended to become extremely cuddly when he was smashed, and he had been demonstrating this after a gruelling evening of preparations and planning, at Percy’s apartment (of course, no alcohol on camp – plus, they were counsellors and thus allowed to go out.) Percy and Callie had been joking about something or the other, he’d been trying to shield an incredibly pissed Leo from Hazel’s glare (mechanical polecat stink-bombs to ambush the Hecate cabin – unpleasant memories for her) and Leo had been cackling endlessly.

Leo had crooned about Nico being “his saaaaviour” and how he was so gallantly protecting him from his mean sister, while dramatically falling on his lap. Face burning, Nico had wondered just how drunk he was, why was his luck so crappy, and hoping that Leo wouldn’t remember any of this because... yeah.

Percy, who had been equally smashed, had giggled and told Leo he was acting like Mrs O’ Leary, “all snugly and shit.” Damn him. Because _that_ comparison had Leo gushing and laughing, then proceeding _to lick Nico’s face_. And nuzzle his neck. Nico had glared at Callie and Hazel who were smirking knowingly at him, and guzzed down his alcohol almost too fast after that.

Thank the gods Callie had some of those hangover potions, really (no one was sure how she even made them, but no one was complaining either.)

And nope, by the way.  
It hadn’t come up. In the heat of the action the next day, Nico was pretty sure Leo did not remember any of it. Why would he, it wasn’t like he would notice Nico like that unless he was drunk. Nico already knew his type – he went for people like Jason, and Calypso. Not him.

The polecats were a success. They’d guarded themselves efficiently against Piper’s charmspeak. Hazel had single-handedly decimated the opposing team’s flag guard, and claimed their victory.

Nico had been relieved about the (huge) group hug, and the lack of individual ones. He tried his best to act normally around Leo, because his crush had moved from the territory of ‘harmless’ to ‘fuckfuckFUck-this-is-not-okay-and-he-probably-won’t-ever-like-me-that-way’, and he’d be proud in saying that he’d succeeded.

He knew he couldn’t blame Leo for any of it. He just didn’t want this to turn into another Percy. He couldn’t deal with it if it did.

But Leo kept on testing his resolve – unintentional proximity (which he knew Nico was okay with, so it was technically fine and that made it worse), impromptu pillow bashing whenever he got beat in a game, hugs – and now, at the campfire sing along – whispering and making stupid innuendo.

No, he _hadn’t_ been thinking about Will Solace giving him any goddamn thing under “Doctor’s orders.” But now that Leo had said it, and because it was _Leo_ , he’d just – noooooooo, he was _NOT_ thinking about anything of the sort. No. Noo. Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to pretend that his face was red because of the cocoa up his nose (he could blame Leo for that at least.)

Nico wondered if Cupid were watching all this, with that smarmy terrifying smile on his face. It satisfied him a little to imagine shoving his sword up his nose. Bastard.

Relieved when their friends joined them, he just stared at the bright orange flames of the bonfire, thinking how ironic it was that its effect was so calming when its wielder did the complete opposite.

He’d made the mistake of staring at Leo during earlier campfires, and he was not going to do that now. So he stared off into the fire, its warmth and chaos reminding him of stupid, butterfly-inducing, elfin Latinos and started to sing. Singing was another way to calm himself, but he almost always did it alone or really quietly.

And he always did like that particular song.

He knew Leo had caught onto him, and he couldn’t help smiling as he imagined Leo’s expression (don’t look don’t look don’t look at him, goddamit.) Strangely it didn’t deter him or make him nervous, but he wasn’t completely sure if the rising warmth he felt was because of the fire or just caused by Leo’s scrutiny.

It’s okay, he preferred not making eye contact while singing anyway.

 

 

 

(And it was also okay that he didn't, because Leo's heart-eyed-emoji gaze would be obvious even to the most clueless of idiots, and that would kinda ruin the whole point of this fic in the first fucking place.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Embarrassment coming up next chapter.  
> As soon as I get over my writer's block. Huehuehue.
> 
> Sawrry if this one was shitty, I literally got possessed by my inner corny-fluffy-writer and spewed this out right now.
> 
> (also, was that Cupid-bastard pun intentional? *shrugs* Who knows. 0_o)


	3. Alright, just fucking breathe, guys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BA DUM TSH.
> 
> Thumbs are twiddled in last-minute self-doubt, plans are set into motion, faces are considerably reddened, laughter is badly suppressed.
> 
> People are in dire need of taking a goddamn breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *phew*  
> Welp.
> 
> 80% sure I feel like Piper rn.
> 
> And for all those lovelies who left comments on the last chapter - sorry I couldn't reply! But know that I absolutely adore y'all *hugs and a chapter for you*

“You know, if you look for them constantly like that, they’re gonna know something’s up.” Jason nudged an elbow, and Piper started, turning to look around at the blond towering over her, smirk in place.

She stuck out her tongue at him, patting the spot next to her, “Sit down, the view’s good from here.”

“The view – gods, Piper... that’s –” Jason narrowed his eyes in mock-disapproval, but his smile was still in place.

Piper rolled her eyes, and shrugged. “- Evil?”

“A bit, yeah. Actually, positively diabolical.”

“...”

“Fiiine, fine, I’ll ‘enjoy the view’. Heh, what d’you know, Venus would be proud you’re following in her fo – OW!”

“Not a word, Jay. Not. A word.”

Jason smirked again and sat down, shutting up for once about her Cupid shtick, much to her relief.

Truth is, she was fucking terrified.  She could blame it on her Mom-sounding-like-subconscious, but she knew she couldn’t. And it was too late to back out now.

What do they say about the leading figure doubting themselves? Yeah.

It would look like a prank, for all intents and purposes. Only she, Callie, Hazel, Jay and a _few_ assorted people knew about the ulterior motive, which was Operation Bring Ghosty Robos Together (she wasn’t feeling creative at the time, shut up.)

But there was _no_ telling what would happen if it fell flat. What if they turned out to be more stubborn that she’d anticipated? What if they just ended up being mortified, and then angry with everyone, especially her? What if she made things worse?

Because after what Hazel and Callie had told her, about that night before Capture the Flag – she was convinced they had to act on it. Then the singing thing had given her a perfect opportunity.  
When she proposed the plan under the guise of a revenge-prank to the Hecate children, Lou Ellen had looked like she could kiss the living daylights out of her.  
With a teensy bit of help from Mitchell (who could be trusted to keep the entire Aphrodite cabin from going at her heels) and his ‘helper’ from Apollo cabin, they planned to put it into action in two days.

So, today.

No one was taking any credits. Not explicitly, anyway.

[deep breath deepbreath deepbrethahs derpfwjgavkr fuck it.]

She felt an arm pulling her close, and she could smell the mix of deodorant, laced with the tingly-ozone-scent she associated with Jason. Wow, it had been a long time since he’d done that. Brought back fond memories.

“Okay, he’s here now. Breeeeeathe.”

From Jason’s table at the pavilion, very few people disturbed them. And as mentioned, the view was good.

She watched as Nico, innocently unaware of the spell that had been put on him, sleepily rubbed his eyes and plopped down at the Hades table.

She watched as Percy (he was an enthusiastic associate) snagged Leo from the Hephaestus table under the pretext of ‘hey, look who came, let’s give him some quality company eh?’

She watched, feeling her eyes widen in anticipation as Leo shrugged and walked over with Percy, who really had to _work on hiding that stupid bloody grin of his it could give away everything oh shit oh gods oh f –_

She watched as Nico looked up at the approaching duo, started to smile and say something in greeting, and –

“ _Do you hear me, I'm talking to you_  
 _Across the water across the deep blue... ocean_  
 _Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying..._!”

She could feel Jason quivering in shocked laughter against her. She could see Percy in a similar situation, Leo’s eyes widen almost to a comical extent, and Nico’s face – oh gods, his face.

The chattering had not stopped, but it had quieted down a bit.

It had started. *Cue the ba-dum-tsh*

She took the deepest of breaths.

______

_WHAT THE FUCK._

_Okay take a breath. Take a deep breath. That was a weird slip of the tongue, but it was probably a slip of the tongue_ oh _god what was why wasn’t he able to think clearly what was happening - *breeeeeaaathe* - oh no Leo stop looking at me like that don’t you dare fucking say a thing close yoUR GODDAMN MOUTH GU –_

“ _Boy, I hear you... in my dreams_  
 _I feel your whisper across the se-e-ea_  
 _I keep you with meee, in my heart_...”

Okay what _._

Leo’s panic-ridden eyes met his, just the once, and they immediately seemed to understand some very important things.

  1.        This was not a slip of the tongue.
  2.        The above revelation was of absolutely zero help, because this was a shitty thing to happen regardless.
  3.        The person who did this would have their due coming. In more painfully mortifying ways than this.



“ _You make it easier when life gets hard_...”  They sang in unison, mouths spewing out words that somehow they automatically knew.

The day was starting to get unbelievably horrid, but nothing was making it easier, that’s for sure.

______

This was an absolute shitfest, and he, Leo Valdez, was 100% convinced that it was the Hecate cabin out for his blood. As he expected them to be, for over a week now. Why drag poor Nico into it, he didn’t understand, but gods, it made it so much more embarrassing. Nico of all people.

_Whywhywhywhywhy –_

“Huh. That was pretty well sung.” He managed to hear Percy over the strange panicky screeching in his ears. He could also practically hear his mile-wide grin.

Could you hear such things? Whatever.

He heard other things too, as the ear-panic-screechy thing died down. More like felt it. Like waves of different moods prickling against his skin. The campers’ confusion and general amusement. Percy’s (badly) suppressed laughter. Jason and Piper hesitantly approaching them. Mirth mixed with concern. A muddle of mortification and annoyance and bloody murderous rage. That was mostly him and Nico.

_Woah sensory overload._

_Fuck, play it cool. Was he on fire? ... Yeah, nope, all good in the spontaneous combustion department._

_Cool, Valdez. Go on, sit your ass down._

_Pretend that you and Nico didn’t just bellow out cheesy sing-song declarations at each other._

_Move your feet, come on, that’s it._

They sat down, and he frantically avoided looking anywhere near Nico (like that was gonna help). The chatter started up again, now probably about them being the subjects of this Woah-Cool-Prank!, and he barely looked up when Pipes and Jay sat down  at the table too.

“So... what was that about?”

_I’m being made to sing songs that would probably be found on someone’s “Loser in Love” playlist, at my crush, because hey guess what, I AM a “Loser in Love” – and this is either someone prototyping their plans for Valentine’s Day on unsuspecting subjects for a prank, OoooOOR – Hecate cabin getting us (me) back for squirting tonnes of robo-polecat stink on them. THAT’S WHAT IT’S ABOUT._

_GAH MALFUNCTIONS DETECTED CURSE HERA’S GODDAMN ELBOWSHELLFIREHEHELLFIRWIEBLFASDFGHJ CALM THE FUCK DOWN –_

_Breathe, Leo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, so Lucky by Jason Mraz. *snorts*


	4. This shit is getting long-winded, and the author face-desks repeatedly because uGH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get used to prank, get prickly and uncomfortable and embarrassed anyway, and fail at trying not to think about cute death kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [LOUD INCOHERENT YELLING AND HISSING]
> 
> just take it i don't know i just don't know anymore excuse me

“Ugh, when is this freaky magic going to seem less fascinating to you? Please do tell, I’ll hit you up when you’re actually willing to console me. And virtually pat my head while I sit on my ass and whine about how this prank is so unfair.”

Callie’s laugh was loud, and cheerful, filtered through the hiss of the water vapour spray. She even looked cheerful, the sunlight from where she was in New Rome, giving her a positively immortal glow. Well, immortal-ish? He wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t sure about a lot of things.

Like how dare she act like this was not a scandalous thing to happen? How dare everyone snigger at their woeful misery?! Why were his insides doing that squeezy-floppy thing whenever he sung some shit out to Nico, like when did his feeling actually become that corny?! Why was he being so overdramatic?!??!

Callie’s laughter died out with an undignified (and cute) snort. He glared at her.

This… thing… had happened only twice since that first time – and they were getting used to it – only now that the fresh wave of embarrassment that Leo felt each time those accursed 80’s loveydove lyrics left his mouth, had a different source. He didn’t care it was public.   
No, nooo he didn’t care about _that_. What he cared about, was that without the nauseating cheesiness – ALL of it. Was true. And how many people knew that? That’s right, n-

“If it’s just a _prank_ , and you said you didn’t care about the public humiliation… then what’s bothering you? It’s not like you actually mean those words, it’s just for fun! Right?” Her gaze turned from haha-this-is-hilarious! to intense. The I’m-delving-into-your-mind-and-you-can't-stop-me Intense.

-one.

Wait, back up.

He tried the denial route one last time, like a beat up swordsman swiping his blade weakly in his moment of defeat. Knowing it wouldn’t fool her. Not her, never her.

“I… don’t. It’s just uncomfortable! Look, he probably shares the same sentiment okay?” _Lame, Leo._ “It’s just, I mean.” Words, one of his best defences. They had to fail him _now. Pathetic._

She smiled, and crossed her arms.

“- I mean to say, it’s totally not… 

… False, you’re completely right, why did I even bother thinking you didn't notice, with your freaky intuition powers that most girls seem to have, why is my luck so full of horseshit, I give up, everything sucks, I need a drink.”

She laughed again, only this time it was shorter and there wasn’t much cheer in it. “You really do, huh.”

“Don’t tempt me, though.”

“Don’t worry, Dionysus will take care of that.” She didn’t call him Mr D, which was good, because his godly name sort of brought Leo back from his thoughts of getting thoroughly pissed.

“For how long.”

“Did I know? Well…” She smiled at him again, droplets and colour rippling her image a bit, and it was a very sad smile.

No, bullshit. He could deal with people knowing. Hell, even he’d doubted if he was too obvious. What he would not stand for, was pity.

“How’s New Rome treating you, then?” His attempt was wildly transparent, he knew, but it worked. She got the message. She launched onto how it was wonderful meeting demigods who could live their lives out in a demigod-made establishment, how she loved the efficiency with which everything was dealt with, how she was going to go to a sauna and she wished she was with her girlfriend (it was Leo’s turn to snigger then), and everything.

It made him a little guilty every now and then, that he’d almost destroyed the city, even if he’d been possessed by some nasty leechy ghost.

And it calmed him down, and distracted him from thoughts of Nico, who was sparring with Jason not far away. He was happy for her, at least. He couldn’t even begrudge her for knowing. He laughed at her flailing about the taco stand (“What? They can’t be better than _me_ – no, Callie, don’t say it – my heart couldn’t possibly deal with this _rejection_!” “It’s not _rejection_ , idiot. And come on, Chef Leo’s always the best!”)

_Please never stop, Callie._

_Maybe if I talk to enough people, I could avoid singing._

_Seriously my singing’s shit. His is… miles better. Gods, that voice… that lilt, should be illegal who ever decided it was okay to give this gorgeous scrawny kid that deep ass chocolatey voice what the fuck._

_Was there a Greek deity for puberty or something? Okay never mind._

_Said gorgeous scrawny kid currently duelling, holding that ridiculous-looking curved wooden blade for sparring, yet somehow he managed to look good._

_No. Focus on tacos – wait, wha –_

“But seriously, though, Leo- hey, uhm Leo? LEO.”

Great. His brain just could not give him a break. Even for demigods, he was a poster child for the ADHD.

“Sorry, spaced out.”

She smirked, because of _course_ she knew why he’d spaced out, fuck his life, really – and proceeded to go all serious. Shit.

“Okay look, I have to go soon, Hazel said she wanted to show me the stables, and Annabeth… wait, where _did_ she go? – but we need to talk about this. What are you going to do about this?”

“Oh come _on_ , didn’t I tell you enough?” _Didn’t I, Callie._

“No you didn’t.” There was no hope for puppy eyes with this girl. “Are there loopholes around this? How potent is it? What will make it stop? Come on, you don’t _want_ to sing at him for eternity now, do you?”

“Well, loopholes… there are none. We tried staying as far away as possible, but Nico barely walked five feet away from me when I found him at my side again. Too close. Just like that. So we can’t go away from each other, we can’t do anything to prevent the actual singing – I don’t know, what other loopholes can you think of?”

“This is some amazing spellwork…”

“ _Callie._ ”

“Sorry, sorry! Okay, no loopholes to exploit! Hmm… well, what can I say, just bear with it then, I’m sure it becomes easier… I should know, I’ve fallen in love so many times and only to watch them leave.”

“Does it, truly?”

She smiled that sad smile again. “No… it doesn’t. Didn’t. I’m not on Ogygia anymore. And embarrassment from a prank isn’t the same thing, obviously.” She stuck her tongue out.

“Obviously.” He stuck his out as well.

“But is it just a prank?” She narrowed her eyes.  
“Woah there, detective Callie. … Huh. Actually, now that you mention it… why would they target Nico as well? Unless they somehow got to know that he gave me the idea in the first place.”

“You could speak to Lou Ellen about how potent the spell is, and what would it take to nullify it, maybe? Although I have some ideas for that…”

“I’m hearing yours, then. No way I can speak to anyone from Hecate cabin with my ever-present chill right now, yanno.”

“…”

“It’s going to be the ‘Nullify With the Kiss’ thing, isn’t it.”

“Well…”

“No.”

“But _Leo_ ,”

“Callie you think…I?! Just. He won’t, okay? And I’m not gunna make him!”

“But..! Okay, how are you so sure he’ll object to it? Isn’t he just as desperate to end this?”

He must be. Leo looked over to the person in question, sitting on the opposite row of benches with Jason. Far enough to Leo, not far enough for the prank/curse/bullshit thing. Nico was pink in the face, whether that was because Jason was giving him a similar lecture or because of the exercise, he didn’t know.

What would be his reaction to that idea? Leo almost hoped it wouldn't come to that. He wasn’t sure he could kiss Nico when, to Nico, it’d probably be just embarrassing and something unpleasant to get done with quickly to negate the spell.

He just couldn’t.

“Uh, because it’s me?”

“What do you mean ‘it’s you’, what’s wrong with ‘you’? And you didn’t have a problem cuddling up to him that night!”

“Hah! I cuddle up to hi- wait, excuse me, what? What night?”

She stared at him. And stared.

“Callie, you said you had to _go. What night?_ What did I do?”

“Uh… if you don’t remember, then…”

“Callie, did I do something stupid?! Oh god it was something stupid wasn’t it. I kissed him. Or, I dunno, sniffed his hair, or gave him a lap dance. … Oh god, it was a lap dance wasn’t it. And _he_ remembers?! OKAY TELL ME THAT HE DOESN-” His voice, while not having reached yelling standards, had become increasingly shrill, until it was almost a squeak. He was sure that Jason and Nico were frowning his way.

Dammit. How did Nico even tolerate his proximity, his touches, however innocent and platonic – after whatever he’d done?

“Shit, Leo, listen to me it wasn’t th-” The next moment, he was staring at a faint misty rainbow. Connection had timed out.

… Well, from whatever he’d heard last, at least he knew it wasn’t a lap dance.

Whew.

But it was still something embarrassing, and now he’d have to face it. And curse his inebriated past-self for being so stupid.

He should _really_ get to work on those demigod-specific cellphones. This rainbow-making business was getting ridiculous and shitty.

Speaking of things that were decidedly _not_ shitty, though…

Nico shuffled over to him, awkward in every step, and sat down. He sneaked a glance at him, still too hesitant to meet his eyes. He was slightly pink from exertion, his black T-shirt stuck to his torso with the sweat, as did the hair on his face. Well, the bits that had escaped his ponytail. That infernal ponytail never failed to make him ten times more attractive – with the hair pulled back, his sharp jawline and cheekbones and whatever, became way more prominent, and seemed to silently taunt Leo as if they knew how much he wanted to – _s T OP_ – gods, _no_ how could he be so… Ugh.

Leo was the stereotypical 12 year old girl with the anime kouhai style crush.

He had become a stereotype.

Dude. Not cool.

He looked around to see if Jason would come too, if only to serve as a buffer between the rising awkwardness between him and Nico (wow grand, your ex shielding you from your crush, really grand.)

But he’d gone. There were only some other kids, still practicing.

“So, um, how’s New Rome treating Callie?”

Safe topic. Thanks, Nico.

“She’s justifiably excited, haha. She regrets she won’t have Piper with her for the sauna tour though. And she humored me about my special tofu tacos even though she probably likes New Rome’s better, which was nice of her.” He laughed.

“Bullshit, your tofu tacos are always good.”

_Don’t blush, godsdammit._

He looked up (mistake!) to find Nico looking at him, smirking. The pink on his cheeks was prominent now, probably because Leo was actually seeing him instead of glancing, but whatever.

“Heh. You have to say that, you’re my bro.”

“I’m the sort of bro who doesn’t humor you so easily, though. Also, one who doesn’t actually like the whole ‘bro’ thing.” His smirk widened.

And… it was getting easy, just like that, they were almost back to pretending they weren’t singing out their ‘hearts’ at each other thanks to a vengeful cabin, with some sinister ulterior motive (now that he’d been nudged in that direction by Detective Callie.)

“So… I noticed you were getting a bit freaked over here… Did she say something?”

Shit.

“Uh…! Well, she was… um, suggesting stuff. To nullify this thing, yanno.”

Not even close, but at least he could pretend to be dismissive/disgusted at the idea as knew Nico would probably be. No way was he learning about The Stupid Cuddly Thing He Did from the person he’d done said Stupid Cuddly Thing to.

“Let me guess…” His eyes widened.

“Yeah. Smooch your way out of it.”

Nico’s eyes flashed, and his face turned scarlet. Not in anger, though. He dropped his gaze, suddenly infatuated with his shoes.

He made a weird choking grunt sort-of noise, and from whatever he said, Leo managed to salvage “Wow uh”, “not a good idea maybe” and “shit anyway”

Well, that was answer enough. Leo was relieved. Relief was probably the correct word for the sinking feeling behind his chest, as if something had drooped and wilted, along with the invisible hand that felt like it was repeatedly punching his sternum.

Whatever. No kiss. No ‘relief.’

Right on cue, because apparently he wasn’t miserable enough, his throat tightened and his mouth opened, forming shapes to the words now starting to pour out.

He let it happen. What song will this be, now? Should be _fun_.

Nico went first, and he was still blushing as he sang, his stupid rich voice with its stupid faint-yet-sexy Italian accent (yes he called everything which made him crazy on account of being unfairly hot, stupid. He was having a crap day; he was allowed to act like a ten year old.) accentuating the words,  
_“I was tangled in the all wires  
Tied down and I felt the fire…”_

The hairs at the back of his neck rose up at his part, because the lines were disturbingly familiar.  
_“There was nothing for me to do…  
I was searching but not for you –”_  
  
The fellow campers turned around to the two of them, who were still sitting, too lazy to move or resist the spell by now, as Nico belted out his apparent extreme ‘attraction’,  
_“I am caught up in your desire_  
_It’s flush in the face desire_ ”

Dude, wow. What even was this song. Why were Leo’s parts all disturbingly relevant?  
_“I wanna trade in the old for new_  
_I was searching but not for you_ ”

They sang together.  
_“I’ve been looking for a new emotion-o-on!_  
_I’ve been taken with a new emotiooon…_  
 _I’ve been walking backwards,_  
 _I’ve… been… walking backwards!”_

The prickly feeling at the back of his head faded away. The prickly feeling on his skin remained. It was bloody scorching out here. And he had fucking goosepimples.

He laughed, more like bleated, along with the campers as if to say, ‘ha what a cool prank, look we’re getting accustomed to it! No problems, no unrequited crushes, no awkwardness, totes cool! Nothing to see here, move along!’ Nico didn’t laugh, just grinned and continued resembling one of Apollo’s sacred cows.

They got up and walked away, and the grin faded off Nico’s face immediately. In fact, his unreadable pokerface expression only disconcerted Leo more.

Nico started to walk faster, hands snapping up to his ponytail, untying it, gathering the hair flopping around his face, and pulling it back to retie it. He looked like he was on a mission, and he looked a little pissed.

Leo saw his fist curling. Okay, more than a little pissed.

It was not hot at all, no. (Leo was the hottest, and this joke was getting stale, never mind.)

“Uh, so who are we killing right now?”

“We’re going to talk with Lou Ellen.”

“By talking, you mean…”

“Talking.”

“Not even a punch? Wow.”

“Of course not, don’t be silly, I’m calm. I’m very calm.”

“You look like Gregor Clegane right now, Nico. Not literally.”

“Who the fuck is that?” Not getting the Game of Thrones reference, Nico looked back, confused – and the expression clashed so comically with his previous Pissed-Off-Pokerish-Face that Leo had to snicker.

 “What?! I can’t get each and ev-” He stopped, as Leo turned him around, lightly holding his shoulder as if he was an extremely fragile… thing. That contact had seemed to take all of his willpower. Were they allowed to do this? Was it awkward? They were at the stables, where there were only horses and the pegasi for company.

Nico, now facing him, sighed, and put a hand up to cover one of Leo’s own. “You also have to show me Game of Thrones.” He said softly. He fixed Leo with that stare, all black and cold and blazing at the same time, made more intense by the lack of hair falling onto it – so earnest and so so tired, even though he didn’t know what for – and Leo suddenly wanted nothing more than to hug him. Or rub his back. All platonically. No, really.

He would always be a friend to Nico di Angelo first.  Heartaches could be put aside.

 _Fuck it_ , he thought, as he raised his arms slowly, in question. _I want to hug him, we do it fairly regularly, and look at this dumb, he needs it._

Nico smiled tiredly, said something which sounded suspiciously like “Oh thank the gods,” and moved in.

They hugged lightly, and Leo patted his back, inwardly grimacing at the sweat, but not caring much.

“Okay, fine. I wasn’t calm enough.” Nico’s voice came out sheepish, muffled against Leo’s shoulder. It sounded like he was saying the hug was done because he _had_ calmed down, but he made no move to push away, instead he butted his head against his shoulder almost stubbornly, and swayed a bit on the spot.

And now that the Calm Down Hug was approaching the levels of Just Content/Maybe Not Platonic Hug, with a more stretched out time limit than was appropriate… Leo tried to focus on anything else but Nico – how his hands brushed Leo’s waist, how his wiry frame fit into Leo’s, how his right ear was right below Leo’s mouth, _and shit, don’t think about talking into it, or biting or kissing it, or ANYTHING inappropriate, do you hear me, Leo Valdez? Don’t you fucking dare, this is your rationality speaking._

But Leo didn’t, of course not. He’d survived with this stupid sexual tension (again with the name-calling, Valdez. You really are a pre-teen today, nice.) for more than three months, he was fine with a hug, for fuck’s sake.

Except today wasn’t very normal, was it.

Leo was suddenly terrified that his thoughts would somehow be heard, like… shit, he didn’t know, osmosis or some bullshit like that. That was such a dumb thought, but it brought along the jerk along his arms, and Nico stiffened, sensing that the hug was over.

Good. It went on for too long, anyway.

They withdrew, and Nico’s face… he ahem’ed and everything, and mumbled something about “needing that” and even looked up to smile at him, but his face looked all crumply and sad and wrong.

And _now_ of all the inappropriate times, Leo wanted to kiss him senseless. Maybe it would chase that expression away. There were other ways to do it, sure, better ways, but that kiss would do.

This urge was so sudden and so wild, that he fought to restrain it, horrified that he’d unconsciously made a move like that or something. But Nico’s expression remained the same, and now instead of looking sad and crumply and puppy-eyed at Leo, he looked sad and crumply and puppy-eyed at the line of cabins instead.

Great. Now he couldn’t even give his friend a proper hug, he couldn’t even make him feel better, _how_ would they ever regain from this?

What a craptastic day, honestly. He wanted this thing to s _top, ju s T **STOP**_ **.** He nudged Nico with an elbow.

“Let’s talk to Lou then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so, i KNOW Walking Backwards is THE Vauseman song, for those of y'all who watch OITNB, but... it just seemed so relevant for Valdangelo too ok shhhsh =)))
> 
> the other characters will come in soon, i promise, and come on, of course i wasn't going to make Callie tattle on her girlfriend, tch tch.


End file.
